Rains....

i love the rain
because when i look up at the darken sky, and the rain falls onto my face
it reminds me of sad things that is happening in my life.
I use to cry to sleep.
and it wasn't a good habit.
And when my life is at the very bottom, i would cry to sleep every night.
I can admit it now, to everyone on here, to strangers, and most of all, to my friends.
I use to cry myself to sleep sometimes.

But i don't do it anymore. Coz i know it's bad for my health.
But I can't just keep it in, and not let it out, because that's also bad for my health.
And so the opportunity comes when the rains fall down.

I'm not being emo, though i might sound like one.
And please don't go up to me and ask if i'm ok, because that will just piss me off.
Me sitting in the rain enables me to ponder about my life- what has happen, how i could fix it, what will happen, how i can make it happen.

The rain not only makes me think of sad things that has happened in my life, it also makes me think of the wonderful joyful childhood that I had.
Why? When I was little, and it rained really hard, but not storming, my parents would let me and my brother and sister go outside and play in the rain. Screw getting sick afterwards. We were the only people outside, jumping into paddles, screaming, running around.. it was fun. I also wish for it to rain so that I could go outside and have fun.
Childhood years were fun, i wish i could get them back again.